Have you see me lately?

Seems to me that everyone has their act together. Or at least is in the process. All of my friends that graduated last year love their colleges and are picking majors and meeting new people. MK is studying to teach English in French speaking African countries. Laura knew from the time she popped outta Donna's womb that she would be majoring in journalism. People left and right are being accepted to colleges. Dad loves his new law firm, Mom enjoys working (almost as much as I enjoy her working) Rebecca is falling into the lull of freshman year.

But where am I? Almost more lost than ever. That's where. I am honestly, for the first time in a while, struggling in school. Who told me that senior year was easy ... because they lied. I'm not sure that it is the work thats difficult but more my lack of motivation? or my quite  impressive ability to procrastinate every single damn thing (Something that must be handled before I graduate and be come a big kid) Don't misunderstand. Its not like a depression commercial. You know the ones; "Depression hurts but (pick your drug) can help!" I am just so ready to leave. To be somewhere new and exciting. Somewhere my insomnia can thrive. 

I am afraid at this rate I will end up as a nanny or ... a personal shopper. Because spending money is one thing I can handle. But really. Imma pull my shit together. Forreal. Prolly end up at Belmont or Millsaps. Major in something awesome. Move to NYC or Boston. Live. really really live. 

emily.